Eight Mental Shifts That Will Dramatically Boost Your Confidence
Being mentally strong is more than just having a positive attitude. It’s about effectively managing your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. But one of the most challenging aspects of mental strength is cultivating confidence. While we might feel self-assured at times, external factors like a difficult work meeting can quickly send us spiraling into insecurity.
Fortunately, you can take active steps to overcome self-doubt and increase your confidence. In his new book, "The Mentally Strong Leader", author Scott Mautz details eight mental shifts that can unlock a surge in your confidence and propel your mental strength.
Key Takeaways
- Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt: Embracing doubt and believing in your ability to navigate uncertainty are critical for building confidence.
- Choose your critics wisely: Not all feedback is valuable. Focus on learning from insights offered by those in your inner circle who have relevant experience and offer constructive criticism.
- Reframe failure as a learning opportunity: View setbacks as chances for growth and resilience.
- Act as if you already have approval: Don’t seek external validation to move forward. Take calculated risks and trust your own judgment.
- Avoid irrelevant comparisons: Focus on your own progress and growth instead of comparing yourself to others.
- Treat yourself with compassion: Replace negative self-talk with supportive and encouraging dialogue, just as you would with a friend.
- Acknowledge your unique contributions: Recognize the internal reasons for your accomplishments and celebrate your unique value.
- Remember, you are enough: Embrace your differences and recognize your inherent worth.
1. Stop Believing Confidence is the Absence of Doubt
We all experience doubt to some degree. While it can be uncomfortable, it’s not a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s an opportunity to strengthen your confidence. Confidence is not about eliminating doubt, but about managing your relationship with it. Learn to embrace doubt as a natural part of the journey and trust your ability to figure things out along the way.
2. Determine Whose Feedback Actually Matters
Not all feedback is created equal. Just because someone offers criticism doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Consider the source and their experience. Focus on feedback from people who are "in the arena" – those with direct and relevant experience in your field.
While you shouldn’t completely shut out all feedback, be intentional about who you allow into your inner circle of critics. When you do receive feedback, listen with an open mind and seek the truth you can learn from.
3. Decide Failure Happens For You, Not To You
Setbacks are inevitable, but they are meant to make you stronger. Don’t view them as personal attacks. Instead, reframe failures as opportunities for growth. For example, when his business faced challenges during the pandemic, Scott Mautz pivoted his operation to embrace virtual platforms. This forced adaptation ultimately led to an expansion of his service offerings and strengthened his resilience.
4. Act as If You Already Have Approval
The constant need for external validation can be debilitating. Don’t wait for permission to take action. Act as if you already have approval and trust yourself to make smart decisions. Instead of seeking permission for a calculated risk, simply take the leap knowing you have the skills and knowledge to navigate the outcome.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison can be a thief of joy and confidence. While some comparison is helpful for setting standards, irrelevant comparisons, especially those on social media, can be damaging because they often pit our imperfections against others’ carefully curated highlight reels.
Focus on comparing yourself to your past self and strive to become a better version of yourself each day.
6. Talk to Yourself the Way You Would to a Friend
Replace negative self-talk with compassionate and supportive dialogue. Instead of berating yourself for mistakes, talk to yourself with understanding and empathy. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation to apply next time?"
7. Own Your Accomplishments
If you struggle with imposter syndrome, a great exercise is to list all the external reasons you’ve achieved your current position. Acknowledge mentors, opportunities, and other external factors.
Next, delve deeper and list the internal reasons for your success. This includes your unique skills, talents, and contributions that were instrumental in achieving your goals.
8. Remind Yourself That You Are Enough
Perhaps the most important message is this: You are enough. Your differences are not weaknesses; they are what make you unique and valuable.
When that inner critic whispers doubts, tell it to stop. Affirm yourself and believe in your inherent worth. By embracing your unique qualities, you cultivate a strong sense of self-acceptance and confidence.
